That's my counseling assignment. The counselor said,
"Go home and write about why I'm important to take care of."
I told her I needed her to write that in the form of a doctor's order so I felt I really should do it, and also that I had permission to do it.
I have it on a piece of paper with her signature.
One of the main reasons I'd decided to try counseling, I told her, was just to practice asking for help. I grew up taking care of my mother and not myself, and not even asking for help for myself.
I also told her that recently I'd gone to the grocery store and just could not figure out what to buy to feed myself, and I had turned around and walked out without buying any food at all, now that I'm just cooking [or not] for me alone again.
"Why don't you deserve to be fed too?" she asked.
Sigh.
These simple, obvious, therapy-style questions can just flummox me.
Why didn't she ask instead why I thought Lincoln didn't let the South secede? I have a lot to say about that, and it doesn't leave me feeling like a stuffed animal with the stuffing knocked out.
Still, I do secretly like those sort of therapy questions, and they give me hope that I can and will take care of myself better.
"Go home and write about why I'm important to take care of."
I told her I needed her to write that in the form of a doctor's order so I felt I really should do it, and also that I had permission to do it.
I have it on a piece of paper with her signature.
One of the main reasons I'd decided to try counseling, I told her, was just to practice asking for help. I grew up taking care of my mother and not myself, and not even asking for help for myself.
I also told her that recently I'd gone to the grocery store and just could not figure out what to buy to feed myself, and I had turned around and walked out without buying any food at all, now that I'm just cooking [or not] for me alone again.
"Why don't you deserve to be fed too?" she asked.
Sigh.
These simple, obvious, therapy-style questions can just flummox me.
Why didn't she ask instead why I thought Lincoln didn't let the South secede? I have a lot to say about that, and it doesn't leave me feeling like a stuffed animal with the stuffing knocked out.
Still, I do secretly like those sort of therapy questions, and they give me hope that I can and will take care of myself better.
6 comments:
(o)
Thanks, GZ!
Unless you are an old style desert saint on a pillar, it's probably going to be better for everyone all around if you take care of yourself. How's that for an overly rational non-touchy feely justification?
First rule of water safety, make sure you are safe first, or you'll wind up with Two stiffs in the water.
Take care of your own needs, first. If you want to really be of use to others.
Thanks for your concern, A & Z.
If only eating were logical for me....
I'm an illogical eater myself--I ended up at the thrift store so much because it was my bribe to myself for grocery shopping, which I loathe (so many decisions! so many ethical consequences!). I definitely do a better job remembering to eat and planning for it and making decisions when it's not just me.
Different causes, I think, but solidarity in the solo-food-overwhelmed category!
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